Archive for Parenting

Tween Academy Class – Tomorrow!

Do you have tweens in your home? So do I! Ever wonder how to help them do better in school, deal with friends (or bullies) or just plan be more prepared to get into the swing of school again after summer vacation? Yeah…me too. There’s help just around the corner!

 

Tomorrow,  Tuesday, September 20, at noon ET, The Motherhood is hosting its first Tween Academy class and YOU are invited! Believe it or not, I will be one of the 6 co-hosts for this class. We will talking about Tweens and Heading Back to School with host Rosalind Wiseman, who is a parenting expert and author of a New York Times bestselling book!

Here are the details:

What: A class offering advice, suggestions and empathy when it comes to tweens and issues surrounding going back to school.  It’s all part of Tween Academy on TheMotherhood, sponsored by Unilever.

About the class: From making new friends to managing classes and homework, heading back to school can be filled with sweat-inducing moments.  During this class, we’ll talk about how to get back into the school routine and offer advice on guiding tweens through classes, after-school sports, rough spots with friends, bullying and more.

When: Tuesday, September 20, at noon ET

Where: On TheMotherhood, here – http://www.themotherhood.com/talk/show/id/62264

Who: Renowned parenting expert Rosalind Wiseman, author of the New York Times bestseller Queen Bees and Wannabes (which the movie Mean Girls was based on), will host the class with six blogger co-hosts…

Connie, Brain Foggles
Jo-Lynne, Musings of a Housewife
Yours Truly, Theresa, Faith and Family Reviews
Stephanie, And Twins make 5!
Liz, Thoughts of a Mommy
Jennifer, Mom Spotted

This class is not a webinar or a phone call, it is all on chat, so no need to worry about background noise – we moms have been there and done that! You can even stay in your pjs if you want to!

Hope to see some of you there!

Disclosure: I am being compensated for my time by Unilever and The Motherhood, but all thoughts and opinions are my own.

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The Number Train Giant Floor Puzzle / Twin Sisters Review

About Twin Sisters:

“Fraternal Twins Kim Thompson and Karen Hilderbrand have always been close, and have always worked well together. This company was born out of a love for children and seeing the wonderful look of pride on their faces when they have mastered a concept, and have had fun doing it!

Kim started her career as a classroom teacher. She loved teaching first grade and would incorporate music on a daily basis. My class would sing our spelling words, clap out rhythms, march around the room – all while learning. Many phonemic awareness activities involve music, and I found this to be a really fun and effective way to teach. When I earned my masters degree in “Integrating the Arts into the Elementary School Curriculum,”
I was convinced that music was a powerful teaching tool. I began teaching third grade and while becoming familiar with my new math curriculum, discovered that I would be teaching the multiplication facts. What a challenge! I knew that using music and rhythm would make it fun and easy – so that’s what I did. Karen and I worked together and wrote “Rap With The Facts.” We recorded our first album with the help of Hal Wright, and that’s how it all began!”

Since the beginning, we have been blessed with continual growth. Our MISSION is to be The Leader in Children’s Educational Music. We have worked very hard to create excellent products that children will enjoy, and to make learning effective and fun for the lives that we touch through our music.  To get a glimpse of how hard we have been working to be the leader in children’s educational music, visit our awards section. www.twinsisters.com/awards

Twin Sisters Productions offers many children’s learning activities.  The kids don’t even realize they are learning because they are having fun!

I received “The Number Train Giant Floor Puzzle”

“Young learners will quickly begin to recognize numerals, number words, and number order 1 to 20 with this all-new giant Number Train Floor Puzzle! The 6-foot x 7-inch puzzle features 27 large, sturdy laminated pieces. The Music CD includes 12 songs that teach numbers and counting. Bonus! Print the 48-page Numbers & Counting Activity Book PDF from your own computer! Practice tracing and writing numbers, counting sets, and more!”

Even though my daughter is still a little young for this product (recommended ages are 4 to 10).  She really enjoys the puzzle and songs.  Each puzzle piece has a number of animals relating to the current number they are on.  Granted she doesn’t know her numbers in order yet, she does understand matching and is also learning about animals.  I printed the activity book and that is a bit advanced for her at this time, but it teaches them number counting and writing.  The music is great!  I love the fact the puzzle comes with a CD, to print the activity book at any time!  Most products you use the activity book once and you need to dispose of it.  Great product for upcoming birthday parties, holidays, or rainy or snowy day activities.

For this product and many others, visit the Twin Sisters website at http://www.twinsisters.com/

Twin Sisters can also be found on Facebook &

Twitter!


Faith and Family Reviews received the following product in exchange for writing a review. While we consider it a privilege to receive free products to review, our reviews are our honest opinion and thoughts of the product.


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Gerber Graduates Fruit & Veggie Melts Review

Faith and Family Reviews received the following product in exchange for writing a review. While we consider it a privilege to receive free products to review, our reviews are our honest opinion and thoughts of the product.

About Gerber

As a parent, you want to do the very best for your little one. And one of the best things you can do is guide him on the road to good nutrition and healthy development. But how do you know you’re making the right decisions? For moms throughout the United States, the answer is the Start Healthy, Stay Healthy™ Nutrition System—a trusted resource you can rely on to help you choose what’s best for your child’s nutrition.

Nestlé’s acquisition of Gerber in September 2007 brought together two of the world’s leading experts in early childhood nutrition. And it gave us the opportunity to focus our leadership on one of America’s major challenges: filling the nutrition gaps and improving the poor eating habits of infants and young children.

Start Healthy, Stay Healthy is our response to this challenge. The Start Healthy, Stay Healthy Nutrition System is an innovative approach which helps you choose the right nutrition for your baby based on his stage of development. Only Gerber offers a unique stage-based system with products, and feeding and nutrition guidance to support healthy growth and development and encourage healthy eating for your child from birth to 4 years.”

Fruit & Veggie Melt Information:

“Product Highlights

  • 3 fruit/veggie servings per bag*
  • Vitamins A, C and E for natural immune support
  • Freeze-dried fruit & vegetable snack
  • No preservatives
  • NUTRIPROTECT™—Nutrition for Healthy Growth & Natural Immune Support”

“NUTRIPROTECT blends for cereal, snacks and beverages
Healthy growth and natural immune support

For cereal, snacks and beverages, there are a variety of NUTRIPROTECT blends that offer your child nutrients that support healthy growth and nutrients that support a healthy immune system. Look for the key nutrients found in each blend featured within the blocks of the NUTRIPROTECT symbols.”

Did You Know?

About 25% of his calories come from snacks.

GRADUATES FRUIT & VEGGIE MELTS snacks are a great way to make every bite count by providing vitamins A, C & E for healthy growth and natural immune support.

GRADUATES FRUIT & VEGGIE MELTS snacks are freeze-dried fruit & vegetable snacks and are naturally flavored with other natural flavors.

Nutrition Specially Made for Toddlers

You want the best possible nutrition for your child. The GRADUATES line of meals, drinks and snacks are specially made for toddler developmental and nutritional needs.

Made for Toddlers

  • First step to healthy independent eating
  • Easy to chew and swallow
  • A perfect food for little fingers
  • Not messy”

Fruit & Veggie Melts are available in Truly Tropical Blend & Very Berry Blend.

My Review –

Fantastic product!  My daughter is an addict!  I’ve already been out to buy more!  My husband and I tried them and they taste great.  They are not at all messy.  Great for a snack, anytime.  I definitely recommend this product!

You can find more Gerber products for all ages at www.gerber.com or on their facebook page.


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Book Review ~ You Can Count on Monsters

Faith and Family Reviews received the following product in exchange for writing a review. While we consider it a privilege to receive free products to review, our reviews are our honest opinion and thoughts of the product.

 

You Can Count on Monsters by: Richard Evan Schwartz

You Can Count on Monsters by Richard Evan Schwartz: Book Cover

Theresa already reviewed this book…but we thought it would be nice to do a second review, since I was also given a copy for our family.

 

OUR REVIEW:

This is a cute little book! The premise of the book is to teach about prime numbers and factoring…the book goes through the numbers 1-100. The author states that the only thing you need to know in order to enjoy this book is how to multiply whole numbers together, like 2 and 3. My daughter (7) is just getting into multiplication so this book is a bit conceptually advanced for her…but we did find that it could be used for simple counting lessons for my 2 and 5 year old. My children LOVE the pictures of the monsters…this is what got them interested in the book and numbers. I think that they would have been disinterested had there been simply numbers and facts. The monster theme made the book for my children.

 

As a mother I liked the book immensely! I was glad that the book had a use for my 2 and 5 year old as well as my 7 year old! I like that the book has a second use of numbers and silly pictures to entertain my younger children while being able to teach my older child about simple mathematical facts. This book gets 5 stars from our family!

Check out the authors website for more information as well as other published books.

http://www.richardevanschwartz.com/

 


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How to Deal with Stress Positively – Monday Motivation

Stress? What stress? Think we all probably need this week’s Monday Motivation from Erin…..what say you?

How to Deal with Stress Positively
By Erin Brown Conroy, M.A.

OK, so which one of us parents have not dealt with stress of some kind in the last 24 hours? If you answered “Me!” then either your child is vacationing with grandma or you’re taking a cold medication that’s fuzzing out your memory.

Stress is a part of our everyday lives. Whether it’s a tired toddler whining all morning, an unexpected phone call that puts us in the driver’s seat for the car pool, or a teen informing us that they “need” 75 dollars for a new pair of shoes, events push against us moment by moment, causing our mental equilibrium to totter into stressful thoughts and feelings.

Throughout the year, but especially during the holidays, our schedules are overflowing, our children are emotionally high-strung, and our “to do” list is longer than line at the checkout on Christmas Eve. So what can we do to avoid – or at least deal positively with
– inevitable stress?

Viewing Stress as “Normal”

I wish I had a magic wand to totally wipe stress off the board of my life and yours. But the truth of the matter is this: Stress is “normal.” Unplanned change and unexpected surprises are as much a part of living as breathing. Our wishing our lives to be perfectly
stress-free sets us up for disappointment because at least some level of stress is part of everyday life. What counts most is how we deal with stress. How we approach our child’s whining, our extra carpool excursion, and our teen’s request for cash is dependent
upon the perspectives we hold within our minds.

How Do We Approach Stress?

When your child comes to you with more marker on his hands than on the holiday card he’s creating, what do you think and say? Is it, “What a mess! How are we going to clean this all up?” Or is it, “Let’s look at the beautiful card you made! Wow, you worked really hard on this! Let’s go wash our hands and then put your card in its envelope to send out tomorrow.” When your daughter, for the umpteenth time, interrupts you while cleaning the house for guests, do you think “I wish she’d leave me alone so that I could get this
done!” Or is it, “She needs my attention…What can I do to include her so that she feels better?” Each stressful situation can either be lit on fire or diffused by our internal thoughts. If our perspective is me-centered or focused on tasks before people, our internal
thoughts often wallow in frustration and anger, fueling stress.


Copyright © Mark David. All rights reserved

Our thoughts are the key to approaching stress in a healthy way. In any stressful situation, our minds must grab and hold onto misguided thoughts that lead to negative emotions – before they run away with our values. Ask yourself, “What matters most ‘in the big picture’?” In the light of eternity, what’s most important – clean hands or my child’s selfesteem? What will happen to my daughter internally if I become angry with her or brush her off while cleaning? What do I value most – a close relationship with my daughter or a
clean house? We must learn the skill of responding from healthy, long-term-perspective core beliefs, not from raw moment-centered emotions. And that takes practice.

Schedules

So, as a parent, am I doomed to a life of confronting boatloads of stress? Normal stress, yes. Boatloads, no. We fill our boats ourselves, don’t we? We try to squeeze way too much into our days. We don’t leave margins in our schedules, placing events back-toback, setting ourselves up for unnecessary stress. Our minds and bodies can only take so much!

Less is More

Quality cannot exist when our lives are constantly “pressed.” When outside circumstances – either scheduled in or beyond our control – overwhelm us, something has to give; we need to change our lives in some way. I was sorely reminded of that truth when we moved to a new home in October. Trying to maintain a “regular” schedule, the extra stress pushed me to my limits – until I made some changes. Even some “good” activities had to go. Many times we must choose between what’s “good” and “best.” And best may mean less.

Summing it Up

What are your internal perspectives and attitudes about stress? A healthy perspective doesn’t just happen. Take time to put spiritual and mental “positives” into your heart and mind; then you have a resource to dip into for making it through stressful times with
internal integrity. Take active steps to defeat the stressful, overburdening schedulemonster eating up your family. Choosing a quiet evening together over a “good” activity may be just what you need to diffuse stress. Your family’s health is worth it.

About Author

Erin Brown Conroy, MA, is a writer specializing in books on relationship connections, curriculum, and web marketing. She is a freelance writer/consultant, the DL Professor of writing courses for Patrick Henry College, and a Master Teacher for the PHC Prep Academy Online. Erin is also the mom of 13 children by birth, marriage, and adoption and has been homeschooling for 27 years. She lives in Ohio with her husband, five children still at home, and three amazingly-smart (and cuddly) Australian Labradoodles. You can read more of Erin’s articles on parenting at www.erinbrownconroy.com.

Used with Permission.


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The Top 20 Tips for Parenting “Transitioning Tweens”

This week’s Monday Motivation is to prepare yourself for those tween and teen years. I was naive in thinking that the teen years would be a breeze. I thought that because we were a Christian family we wouldn’t have the issues that I remember happening with my sisters and I. HA! Guess what? We do. Each stage of our children’s life has its struggles, some easier, some just as challenging as the stage before. There is no easy age per se, each age is different, as is each child. In five years we will have five teenagers in the house and I want to be prepared. Erin says it so much better than I could, so here is her top 20 tips for parenting or preparing to parent your tweens and teens. Remember to come back to this often because you forget and you will need these reminders, believe me.

One other thing, be sure to clear your schedule as much as you can because these young people need just as much time, if not more than your babies, toddlers and preschoolers! Amazing, I know. Then love, love and love them some more! And pray fervently for them.

The Top 20 Tips for Parenting “Transitioning Tweens”

By Erin Brown Conroy, M.A.

I heard it again . . . A few days ago . . . . That comment about “tweens.” You know, “tweens” – that’s the word that refers to kids in the awkward age and stage: when our child’s stuck somewhere between being a “child” and a “teen.” The “official” time of “tween” can fall anywhere between the ages 10 and 14, depending on when puberty comes knocking – or pounding – on your child’s hormonal door.

Lamenting about her soon-to-be-a-teen daughter, my friend said (with a sigh of desperation), “I don’t know what’s happening! It seems like I woke up one day and my daughter was an emotionally-charged being. She argues, she’s sassy, then she’s silly . . . and then she’s hugging me and telling me ‘I love you so much, mom!’ Where did my sweet little child go?”

Life as we know it has changed…

No, an alien didn’t abduct your child when you weren’t looking. Your son or daughter’s brain and body is now invaded by chemical changes that mark the start of puberty. With the hormonal “wash,” lo and behold, your child is temporarily rendered into a “mecentered” state of consciousness. Congratulations! Your child’s officially transitioning from a child into an adult.

There’s a new road up ahead. The parenting road that may have been relatively smooth now enters new terrain. Bumpy terrain. With roads that twist and turn and seem to drop off into oblivion.

Yes, just when we thought we had the parenting thing figured out, our child becomes a tween (and then a teen). God definitely has a sense of humor.

The Top 20 Tips

Don’t fear or fret – This stage does end some day (Wahoo!), and it’s much sooner than we think. In the meantime, here are the Top 20 Tips for making the journey through the tween (and teen) years as smooth as they can be.

1. Hormones may rule the child, but they don’t have to rule you or your home. As the parent, you’re ultimately the one who sets the tone of your home. No matter what your tween or teen says or does, know and live the fact that you are calm, cool, collected, and “with it.” When life with your child’s behavior gets tough, know that you’ll find answers. Know that you’ll stay strong through it all and come out strong on the other side. Be confident and centered – and don’t be afraid to ask for help from others. Resources strengthen you personally and as a family. Take advantage of as many resources as you can.

2. Don’t panic – Teach. Things will happen and things will be said that shock you. Be ready for it. Your gut response might be, “How could my son say that? How could my daughter act that way? I can’t believe it!” Believe it. And don’t let it shake you one bit. Like a willow tree, be firmly rooted, able to bend and stay supple in the gales that come your way. Once the wind has died down, stand up tall and calm, and use the moment to teach your child the good, right, helpful, and kind way to speak and act. Keep in mind, as your child moves though these changes into adulthood, it’s your job to teach the best way to speak and act. Here’s where it begins. With you and me.

3. Don’t take it personally. Emotionally chill. OK – So your child’s going to say and do some pretty outrageous things. Don’t take it personally. “What?! Don’t take it personally” you say? Of all the tips on this page, this particular one is the hardest to do. After all, I’ve wiped this child’s bottom and changed her diaper, potty trained her, taught her to read, driven her to sports and birthday parties and stores, and spent hours upon hours caring for and spending time with and loving her – and here she is spouting off that I don’t know anything and I don’t really care about her. Pretty illogical, isn’t it? Step back. Take a breath. Emotionally chill. Don’t take it personally. The hormones are at it again. Don’t let it phase you.

4. Know that the word “I” will be in just about every sentence your child uses.  When you’re a tween, an amazing change happens in thoughts and speech. The tween’s “world view” morphs into “me-centeredness.” It’s all about “me.” Well, not all the time. But a lot of the time. As a tween and teen, life revolves around my thoughts, my ideas, and my desires. Again, it’s chemical. Really. Normal brain development stuff. Don’t let it get you all bent out of shape. As the parent, understand the perspective and gently help your child re-orient to thinking in a “big picture view” that includes others.

5. Understand your changing role and step into it. Your role’s changing. Dramatically. Sometimes daily. When your child was a baby, your role was to totally care for his or her life. When your child grew, your role was to tell and guide, as well as to direct. When your child becomes a tween, your role changes again. As you “let the rope out,” you’re teaching and listening and watching over, as opposed to directly overseeing. You’re mentoring now. Side by side. Still teaching. But talking through, describing, and asking questions. Don’t assume your child knows what you’re asking. Check for understanding. Step into your role graciously.

6. Keep firm boundaries. Tweens and teens still need firm boundaries for behavior. In love and kindness, we need to clearly define expectations and consequences – and follow through. Our child will test the boundaries. Sometimes it will be unintentional; sometimes it will be intentional. No matter; our response is the same. I love you. I care for you. I’m setting guidelines out of that love and care. From curfews to kind behavior toward others, keep the boundaries firm and expectations high. Then follow through.

7. Don’t accept “poor tone.” At some time, your child’s tone of voice will be out of bounds. Obnoxious. Even “snotty.” Some children try it once. Others seem to struggle with using poor tone more often. Tell your son or daughter that, no matter what their feelings (sadness, anger, disappointment), we still speak to each other with respect – in both our word choices and the tone of our words. Hold your child to speaking with a respectful tone, with a calm request. If your child doesn’t change his or her tone, give a consequence that matches the violation. And tell your child you’ll speak to him/her when they’re able to speak back in a tone that’s respectful.

8. Expect and hold your child to “good eye contact.” Eye contact is important – for you and your child’s relationship, as well as your child’s future success. Ask for sustained eye contact. Expect it. If your son or daughter “forgets,” gently step into your son or daughter’s line of vision and ask him or her to maintain eye contact – each and every time. Rolling of the eyes isn’t accepted (it’s disrespectful). Teach your  son or daughter the importance of a steady gaze (not glare) of meeting eyes with  another. Hold your child to it.

9. Purposefully talk through and model good behavior. Every issue that comes your  way is a chance to purposefully talk through and model the good, right, and helpful  way to respond to life and its issues. Be purposeful about your interaction. Look  directly at your child; face his or her body with your own attentiveness and eye contact. Model the behavior you want your child to exhibit – both now and all throughout life.

10. Spend time together doing things your child likes to do. Now’s the time to spend  time with your child. Your child will “disappear” into his or her room for longer periods of time than he or she used to. This new level of “quiet” might seem nice at the moment, but don’t let it fool you; it’s time to make time with your son or daughter. It’s time to ask him or her what he or she’d like to do. Even if the activity’s not what you’d choose, it’s time to bend their way a bit and enjoy their activity. When it comes to maintaining a good relationship with your tween and teen, spending time in your child’s chosen activity is, as they say, huge.

11. Create times to talk on a regular basis, and talk when your child wants to talk. Your child may not come to you to talk. Your child probably won’t come to you to talk. You’ll need to go to your child and ask your child for times to talk. Better yet, you’ll create special times and special situations where your son or daughter feels comfortable talking with you (like going together to his or her favorite ice cream shop). And then there will be those terribly inopportune times when your child wants to talk to you. You know the times: It’s when you’re tired and you want to go to bed, or when you have to make an important phone call (and you’re dialing) and your child comes up to you with that puppy dog look and tears in his eyes and says, “Can I talk to you right now?” If at all possible, change your plans and talk to your child. If you can’t, set a time to talk right then and there. It’s that important.

12. Give time for quiet, but also draw them out of the quiet. As we said in Tip Number 10, “Your child will “disappear” into his or her room for longer periods of time than he or she used to.” A certain amount of quiet, contemplative time is normal for a tween or teen – but it’s to a point. Check regularly on your son or daughter. Withdrawal for long periods of time may be a sign of depression, anxiety, use of tobacco, drugs, or alcohol, change of behavior attached to bulimia or anorexia, obsessions, and many other physical and emotional causes that need attention. Or your child may just need someone to encourage him or her to talk and become involved. Be wise. Allow for quiet and alone times, but be aware of the amount of time alone. Teach your child to balance quiet times with healthy interaction.

13. In conversation, be a facilitator. A facilitator doesn’t preach. Or tell. Or direct. He or she asks questions. A facilitator shows options and asks for the pros and cons of the situation. A facilitator asks, “What would be best thing to do? Why?” A facilitator leads the audience to conclusions, making the participants feel like it was “their idea.” Teach decision making skills by leading your child to ideas, options, and conclusions. Facilitate. In this way, your son or daughter will learn to step out on his or her own with clear thought processes and good decision making skills, because he or she has practiced thinking through events and drawing correct conclusions .

14. Give a choice within the desired activity. There are certain “givens” in life. It’s a “given” that your son needs to wear an outer garment outside when it’s cold. But you can give him the choice of wearing a hooded sweatshirt or a jacket. In the same way, it’s a “given” that your daughter needs to put her dirty laundry in the basket and not all over the hallway floor. You can give your daughter the choice of keeping the basket in the hallway, the bedroom, or the bathroom (whichever she deems “easiest,” with the shortest distance to toss the clothes after taking them off). A tween loves choices. Give a choice within the desired activity.

15. Draw only necessary “lines in the sand.” What are the most important line to draw? Values-based lines. Those lines stay the same. All other lines…Well, think about it. Some are necessary. Maybe some others aren’t. Now’s the time to think deeply about those lines we draw and decide which ones are “preference based” (just what we personally like) and which ones are “non-negotiables.” Draw your lines carefully, when necessary.

16. Purposefully teach decision making skills. The most important ability you’ll give your child is the ability to make good decisions. How do we make decisions? We think and talk through the “whys” behind our choices. We weigh out the good and the bad. We put values on our reasons. We discuss, ponder, ask for advice, weigh advice, and, in the end, balance logic and “heart.” Purposefully take your tween and teen through these steps, and they’ll be able to make good decisions as adults.

17. Talk about “The Big Five”: Love, Sex, Money, Politics, and Religion. When I was a tween and teen (in the 70’s), we didn’t talk about “The Big Five.” These days are different. It’s time to talk about these “real issues” in honest, straightforward ways – in order for our kids to be wise and make good choices. As your tween becomes aware of issues, talk in small amounts that grow to large conversations. Create conversation that’s meaningful and thought-provoking. Ask questions. Give information that’s appropriate, in small, “digestible pieces” that your tween can easily ponder. Don’t avoid “hard issues.” When it comes to the most meaningful discussions, teach your child that you’re the one he or she can come to by discussing  “The Big Five.”

18. Be involved in your tween’s life. If your child’s just trying out volleyball, go to the practices and games. If pipe organs of Eastern Europe trip his trigger, read a book about them and go to a concert together. If the movie of the day is “Princess Diaries 2,” and girly Disney movies just don’t thrill you, so what? Go to the movie together. Enjoy it for her sake. Make your son or daughter’s interests your own. Be involved.  Drive the car pool. Go to the meeting. Watch the practice. Look over the homework. Ask about the friends. Meet your sons’ and daughters’ friends’ parents. Find out what’s important to your child, and make the connection. In a few years, when you’re in the toughest part of parenting your teen and there’s a point of connection, you’ll be glad you took the time.

19. Laugh together. Laughter sooths the soul and builds bridges with your tween. Tweens are notorious for what my girls call “silly humor” and my boys call “stupid humor.” Some tween humor’s “out of bounds” and other humor’s truly side-splitting silliness. Without lowering yourself to poor humor such as obsessing with bodily functions like passing gas (a famous past time of tween boys), find silly things to laugh about. I call it “healthy, happy humor” – humor that doesn’t make fun of others, doesn’t put people down in sarcasm, and makes us laugh at ourselves in a way that builds closeness. There’s plenty of fun to be had in healthy, happy humor. Share a good serving with your tween daily.

20. Voice the obvious and do the obvious. Say, “I love you. I want to spend time with you. You’re such a gift to me. I’m glad you’re my son (or daughter). I like being with you. You did that well. I’m proud of you. I’m looking forward to spending time together. I’m glad we had this time together.” There are so many times we think these things and don’t say them. Well, now’s the time to say them! And  DO things that show these feelings: Put your arm around a shoulder. Give a hug and kiss. Toss the ball, shoot some hoops, take a walk together, eat out together, ride in the car on a trip designed just for the two of you and talk. Amidst all their bravado of “growing up,” at each child’s very core, these tweens and teens need our love and affirmation at this time more than any other time in their lives. Think it. Then say it and do it. Daily. Repeatedly. With sincerity and authenticity. From the heart. Wrap up the first 19 Tips with Tip Number 20, and you’ll boost the effectiveness of every single Tip before it – ten fold!

Take the time to learn about the tween and teen years, practice these 20 Tips, and parenting your child will be a whole lot easier and more enjoyable, as your child becomes a responsible, responsive adult that you’re proud of.

About Author

Erin Brown Conroy, MA, is a writer specializing in books on relationship connections, curriculum, and web marketing. She is a freelance writer/consultant, the DL Professor of writing courses for Patrick Henry College, and a Master Teacher for the PHC Prep Academy Online. Erin is also the mom of 13 children by birth, marriage, and adoption and has been homeschooling for 27 years. She lives in Ohio with her husband, five children still at home, and three amazingly-smart (and cuddly) Australian Labradoodles. You can read more of Erin’s articles on parenting at www.erinbrownconroy.com.

Used with Permission.


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Putting Fun into Parenting – Today’s Monday Motivation

I forgot I was sharing Erin’s parenting articles and thought that I would switch them to Monday’s Motivation for a while. This week let’s be motivated to putting fun into parenting and be sure to let me know how you plan to do that! Last week I played soccer, went swimming, went to the park and walking with the children (well, most of them biked). We had a lot of fun doing those things. It’s hard to remember to be fun when life gets busy. I know since I have been working from home, I have to make the effort to be fun or else I am bogged down with work and that makes for a very dull mommy!

By David Stoepker, Psy.D., with Erin Brown Conroy, M.A.

Putting Fun into Parenting


Do you remember Dennis the Menace cartoons? Robert Ketchum, the cartoon’s author,often struck a familiar chord with parents through his humorous and honest comic strip. Like the one where Dennis and his pal Joey are playing in the foreground, while Dennis’mother stands in a doorway some distance in the background, red-faced and obviously shouting at the top of her lungs for Dennis.  Dennis says to Joey, “I don’t have to go in yet. That’s not her real angry voice.”

Parenting can be very stressful and even seem impossible at times – especially when children are oppositional. From mild resistance to downright defiance, children oftenchallenge us, stretching our parenting skills and patience. And the odds of our child’s resistance often seem to increase directly in proportion to how much of a hurry we’re in! It’s at these times that few moms and dads describe parenting as “fun.” Yet fun may be the key to breaking the parent-child stand off.

The Benefits of Fun, Humor, and Play

Fun, humor, and play are important in raising children for several reasons:

1. Research shows that laughter is healthy. There are actual changes that take place physically, within us, when we laugh. After laughter, chemicals that suppress the immune system drop, infection-fighting agents rise, blood pressure drops, and pain tolerance increases.

2. For children, play is a major form of communicating and learning about life. Play helps to “speak” to a child in the language that they understand best: play.

3. Humor relieves stress. By creating emotional distance from the stressful event,there is a cathartic release of emotion, breaking the negative cycle in which thechild and parent are spinning.

4. Laughing with our child enhances the bonding process. Bonding through laughter can especially be seen in infants ages three to four months, who connect with parents through smiles and laughter long before they’re able to talk. Some research even demonstrates that mothers who laugh more have babies who laugh more. People in general experience a sense of “connectedness” when sharing a good laugh together.

How to Bring Laughter, Play, and Humor into your Parenting

If you let your imagination go, you can come up with several ways to incorporate laughter, play, and humor into your parenting. Brainstorm ideas with a group of parents,and your list can be endless. Here are some suggestions to get you started on your way to putting fun into parenting.

• Set aside a time each day (such as after a meal or at bedtime) when each family member shares a joke, riddle, humorous event, or some other funny experience that happened that particular day.

• Occasionally – and unexpectedly – walk in on a child who’s busy, smile mischievously, and ask, “Do you want to hear a joke?” (This is much better than always catching a child doing something wrong and administering a punishment)

• Have a family bulletin board especially for cartoons and jokes.

• Leave notes with a smiling face or with an affirming comment for your child to find.

• Play charades together as a family dramatizing cartoons or humorous events.

• Have a “family basket” decorated with smiles that every member can put especially funny cartoons, jokes, or riddles. Draw out one or more to read when you and your child need some “laughter medicine” in your life.

Humor to Relieve Stress

When children have difficulty complying with a parent because of frustration, tiredness,or stress, it may help to break the cycle with some quick humor. Here are some practical suggestions for taking a U-turn when things are relationally going south and need a turn around through a speedy dose of humor.

• A parent can call “time out for a joke” and read a quick quip from the “familybasket” described above.

• If the children are complaining about the food at mealtime, say, “The next one to complain has to have chicken for supper!” Then bring out a rubber chicken and hang it on the chair of the complainer.

• If your child is slow to brush his or her teeth, wind up a set of plastic chattering teeth and challenge your child to finish brushing before the teeth stop chattering.

• When homework gets frustrating, bring out a rubber pencil or giant-sized pencilto help with those “big problems.” Giant erasers are also for sale in novelty and gift shops for “big mistakes.” Recently, I found ink pens that light up to “shed alittle light on the problem.”

• Reading the parent a joke from a favorite joke book can be a reward, once your child has (finally) complied with your expectation or desire.

Play and that Challenging (and all-too-familiar) Oppositional Stage of Development

Play can be especially helpful when children are going through the oppositional stage of development. The use of playful competition can be an almost miraculous strategy to usefor results with a smile. Here are some suggestions:

• If your child tends to resist washing hands before meals, playfully say, “I’ll finish washing my hands before you do!” If said and done in a clearly light-hearted,playful way, positive competition can work well to help your child along with asmile. This method works great for not just hand-washing, but for any behavior,such as coming to the table for a meal, getting in the car, clicking on a seatbelt, o rbrushing teeth.

• Simply frame a situation in terms that imply that your child is in control. If your tired child is slow to pick up toys at bedtime, say to your child, “You can’t make me pick up a toy.” Then let your child know that the game works in this way: Every time your child picks up a toy, the parent has to pick up a toy as well. Once the child is “into” the game, make it especially fun by begging your child to notpick up any more toys so that you, as a parent, don’t have to pick up any more toys. You can even begin to complain, “Not again! No, please! No more!” Kid soften get a charge out of “making the parent do something.” If said and done with playfulness, the toys (or other task) will be completed in no time at all. Approaching oppositional children with humor and play (as in these examples) as amatter of routine can remove much stress from the task of parenting – and save a lot oftime and energy, compared to methods of yelling and punishing.

A Caution

One caution in using humor: Humor must be done in a playful, uplifting way. Avoid sarcasm and hostile humor, which will actually make the situation worse and be emotionally hurtful to your child.

A Final Word

As a parent, humor is absolutely necessary for your mental health. Keeping a perspectiveof humor goes a long way for feeling good and acting in a healthy way toward your child.Here are some final suggestions for ways that you, the parent, can maintain a perspectiveof healthy humor.• When you’re in a stressful situation, pretend you’re on a television, taping an “ILove Lucy” show, “America’s Funniest Videos,” or “Candid Camera.”

• Smile spontaneously to a stranger and watch their reaction.

• Draw a picture of a stressful event with your non-dominant hand.

• Set up a minimum number of mistakes to make in a day. Humorously keep count.

• Put a note on your keys that says, “If you have these, I don’t.”

• Finally, if you’re in a hurry, play some appropriate fast-paced background music such as the William Tell Overture. (Editor’s Note: Look up The Mom Song on YouTube!) Laugh, play, and have fun with your children. It can make a vast difference in your relationship together.

About Authors

Erin Brown Conroy, MA, is a writer specializing in books on relationship connections, curriculum, and web marketing. She is a freelance writer/consultant, the DL Professor of writing courses for Patrick Henry College, and a Master Teacher for the PHC Prep Academy Online. Erin is also the mom of 13 children by birth, marriage, and adoption and has been homeschooling for 27 years. She lives in Ohio with her husband, five children still at home, and three amazingly-smart (and cuddly) Australian Labradoodles. You can read more of Erin’s articles on parenting at www.erinbrownconroy.com.

David Stoepker, Psy.D., is a clinical psychologist at Pine Rest Christian Mental HealthServices in Kalamazoo, Michigan, where he’s worked with children and families for 20years. For information on his availability for workshops on Putting the Fun into Parenting, email Dr. Stoepker at www.PineRest.org.

Used with Permission.


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How to Foster a Giving Spirit in a Me-First Culture

By Erin Brown Conroy

“ME!” Those two little letters placed side by side form a powerful word that carries a whole lot of attitude! In my neighborhood growing up, we were no exception; my friends and I used to teasingly refer to ourselves as, “Me, myself, and I.” Though we hung out
with each other, we really only looked out for ourselves. We weren’t unusual; we were typical kids.

It’s no secret that children begin life as “the center of the universe.” Unfortunately, many of those childish perspectives cling tightly to us as we grow older. A “giving spirit” doesn’t come naturally; it has to be purposefully cultivated in order to find its way into our
children’s lives.

God’s Design

God creates helpless infants totally dependant on a loving, caring parent to fulfill his or her physical and emotional needs. Depending on what we receive and how we respond to environments, temperaments, and cultural influences, the “self” in all of us can become either “selfless” or “self-centered.”

As we grow, God designed us to mature in our view of ourselves, moving from selfcenteredness to selflessness. Service and giving to others is the central theme of the gospels. Our ultimate example, Jesus, showed the quintessential act of service and selflessness by giving his up his very life. Contrary to the gospel message, our current culture throbs with inward spotlights pulsating their “me-first” message across the nation and world.

Today’s Culture

Especially today, our culture caters to “self.” Born out of the 60s’ “Do your own thing” and “If it feels good, do it,” advertisements, movies, and television shows continue to cater to the immature longings of youth for self-gratification. Our inner child clings to the
immature attitude of “me first!”

Even though we begin life in a self-absorbed state, the desire of God for us is to gain a more mature mindset that takes the focus off self and onto others. If a young child is to move into true maturity, he or she must continually, systematically learn to shift the focus
from self to others – regardless of cultural influence. It’s up to us, as parents, to create words and actions that facilitate the shift.

Here are some tips for parents that will help foster a giving spirit in a “me-first” culture:

Let your child see you purposefully give of yourself to others.

As parents, we’re our child’s clearest example of either selfishness or selflessness. Beginning with simple actions, what we do shouts loudly of our level of selflessness. Do I open doors for others? Do I let others go in line before me, enter the lane of traffic ahead
of me, or take the last item left on the shelf at the store? Do I let others have the last helping at the meal, graciously step back when there’s a crowd of people traveling in the same direction, or let someone speak before I do? Purposefully choosing to embrace and demonstrate the attitude and action of “giving” is the number one way our child will learn to put others first.

At a very early age, set up regular circumstances for your child to practice giving, and give together.

When do we start teaching our child about giving? We begin when our child is born. When my two oldest children were quite small, we’d go once every couple of months to our town’s homeless shelter and pass out apples. When we had four children, we’d all
regularly visit the nearby nursing home to share Valentines or Christmas cookies we’d made. When we had seven children at home and planned to travel to a Russian orphanage, I took some of the children with me to the local stores to ask for clothing and Band-aids donations. Then we filled a suitcase together before the trip. These are just a few of the many circumstances that we can purposefully create to give of ourselves to others. Even little children can save pennies in a jar for a missionary family or walk the
streets with you on a mission trip. When your children see you consistently practicing giving your time and resources to others, they’ll experience first-hand the value – and positive feelings – of giving.

Speak about and then practice sharing.

The way to begin a personal attitude of sharing is to speak words of generosity and giving. “It’s good to share. It’s wonderful to give to others. It’s a great thing to give of ourselves.” Positive words lead to positive actions. Once spoken, we can help our child find ways to give. “It’s good to share. How can we share this bushel of apples that we just picked?” “It’s wonderful to give to others. How can we give of ourselves to the neighbors that just moved in?” Once we’ve verbally affirmed the positives of sharing and spoken with our children about what can be done, we can then go and do it.

Point out and praise the generosity of others.

Giving is all around us. Verbally affirming others’ generosity teaches our children to recognize generosity; it also gives us new ideas of how to share ourselves with others in the future. Read aloud the newspaper article about a generous individual’s impact on the town. Talk to the kids on the corner volunteering at a car wash/fund-raiser to raise money for the youth group’s trip to Haiti. Visit the ministries in your area that directly touch lives, such as shelters, food kitchens, and food pantries. Notice everyday acts of kindness, affirming the generosity with words such as, “Did you see how that young man opened the door for the older couple? Wasn’t that a kind thing to do?” Make it a practice to find and praise the goodness and generosity all around you.

Make it a priority to purposefully teach your child to be generous. With practice, we can foster a giving spirit in our child, no matter what the culture says.

About the Author

Erin Brown Conroy, MA, is a writer specializing in books on relationship connections, curriculum, and web marketing. She is a freelance writer/consultant, the DL Professor of writing courses for Patrick Henry College, and a Master Teacher for the PHC Prep Academy Online. Erin is also the mom of 13 children by birth, marriage, and adoption and has been homeschooling for 27 years. She lives in Ohio with her husband, five children still at home, and three amazingly-smart (and cuddly) Australian Labradoodles. You can read more of Erin’s articles on parenting at www.erinbrownconroy.com.


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